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FI
This wiki has been simultaneously raped by ManofSceince118 and russ_who_toss indefinitely. Description '[http://z4.invisionfree.com/Further_Instructions/index.php?act=idx'Further Instructions']' is gathering place of TV.com rejects (castaways) to talk about 'Lost' and other bullshit, mostly bullshit though. Creation Paul2k4 of Tv.com, a CNet site, was frustrated when several of his friends on there were banned. Soon, he was suspended from Tv.com, which led to the creation of his InvisionFree Zeta board, Further Instructions. DID YOU KNO?? 'FI' does not actually stand for 'Further Instructions' as is commonly assumed. It actually stands for 'Further Idiots'. Though it is a common misconception by the average Nub that FI is a corruption of the term "If I" and expect such a term to be further followed by some sort of threat. I.E. "FI had a bomb, I'd blow up TV.com" this usually causes various anti FI nubs to go ballistic in assumption of a perceived attack and will attempt to rectify it with attacks of their own, leaving FI members in general dumbfounded as to the turn of events. =Users= First Users These three users were alone on the site in the beginning and used the time to have international orgies. This made robman uncomfortable, and thusly explains why he's not included in this section. Also, he is a n00b. Paulus2 Paulus2 is a Briddish alcoholic hobo with no real career prospects or a future (this is troo lol). As a result of this he joined TV.com in a bid to make friends, not realising that people on the internets aren't real people. He managed to turn the entire community against the site and incite a revolution to FI which he built. Well actually, it was Yoder who invited people because nobody really cared about Paul2k4. On joining their first post is usually "is this Yoder's 4um" and after realising some fag is in charge they leave without ever posting. He generally believes himself to be god and often in a drunken state will rant about how he can make it ALL GO AWAY. In a bid to appear more interesting he pretends to time travel on occasion and makes 1000s of accounts. This just makes everybody Jack-palm and wish that they could overthrow this moron once and for all. The many revolution attempts failed however, mostly because everybody has more of a life than Paul does. Paul is known for being extremely critical of others while blind to his own complete and utter, constant fail. He often talks about how FI is his best site EVAR and then before long veers off to complain about the member base in general LOL. I guess that means his best site EVAR SUX DIX. In the past he has criticised others for their chosen educational paths which is funny because at university he takes a course in playing video games, lol. Wut a tard. We all await anxiously the moment when he steps down as co-admin, sometime in the Autumn when he begins the 'work experience' year of his sandwich course, so called because with his 2:2 in computer games he will most likely end up making sandwiches for people who took actual academic courses. Paulus has delusions of grandeur that he will be the next Shigeru Miyamoto when in reality he will be the next dead frozen hobo. Everything is a JOAK to Paul unless he says otherwise. Hobbies: Doling out MOD positions in return for sexual favors, cheating at Tetris. Krkv6 Krkv6 used to be a speaker. Due to some kind of exposure to radioactive PMS he became a forum poster. He was the third person to join FI (robman doesn't count, LOL) and used the lack of initial activity to have secks with Dutchiee. Eventually he got a sex change and became Linder. Linder used to be a mod but russ slowly annoyed her to the point where the two had some kind of epic lovers' tiff and he stole her mod badge. * RECONSTRUCTED WUOTE: krkv6: RUSS IS AN ATHEIST FAMANATACIST russ_who_ross: ... wut? krkv6: Don't even start with me Russ *gary* russ_who_ross: GET HIT BY A TRAIN * Moar about Lin-duh She has left the site due to dramaz a grand total of 687 times, but she normally comes back only to leave again the following week. This article in itself will cause another exodus. She claims to be about 147, and assumes that everybody under the age of 60 is a kid which is pretty much the whole forum. MrDutchiee MrDutchiee was the first member to join FI and also the first co-admin. He is Australian which means his keyboard is upside-down. As a result he types like he is wearing a pair of boxing gloves (EX: Dutchiee: i saw ur one. it was weirs dtart. u wer elike singing). As a result of this conversation is difficult but nontheless possible by simply ignoring him altogether (replying with the occasional "yeah" helps). He got banned from TV.com, joined FI and was the only person posting for a month. He enjoyed discussing the show with himself and then one day loads of people showed up and he made himself a little family. However an epic war broke out between him and the evil Doc and ack. As a result of that he founded a forum called candyland (he misspelled it as Black Rock. What a nub) where people could discuss how much they loved lollipops and popcorn. He gave up on that and has since lurked in the shadows on FI, muttering revenge against Porl, who singlehandedly destroyed candyland. He claims his lack of activity is due to a social life. This is a lie, there are no real people in Australia. Though it must be noted that in Australia throwing bent sticks while wearing hats with corks (lol, wtf is up with those?) is considered a legitimate social activity. Dutchiee never changes his facial expression. EVA. Elite Members DoctorYoda DoctorYoda was the most popular member on TV.com (except for 80677) and had a fanbase numbering the thousands. Then he got bant, and decided to recruit everybody to FI. They all did so because YODER is so kewl. Then everybody realised that he was some kid with a dumb haircut (lol, it looks like a mushroom) and not the jedi knight he claimed. Mostly Dutchiee. This caused him to get defensive about everything and a huge war broke out which ended in a literal divide in the site. No1 invited Yoder because no1 carez about Yoder. After the war ended people returned but still maintained their lack of interest. To raise his self-esteem he rig'd the FI: BBPE to look like he was the site favourite. Everybody knew that this was a load of crap but they let him have his moment because they knew he wouldn't have any more. Dock suffers from a case of trying too hard. Russ_Who_Ross left|thumb|250px| Rooss daydreaming about his "interests" A.k.a. the MAN OF COOKEEZ, he is a British southern ponce who believes himself to be God's gift to the universe, and blames his shortcomings on RIG. This could not be further from the truth, as russ is in reality a retard. He does some politics thing even though no1 carez about politics, or pretty much russ_who_ross in general. According to gbvfan, Russ LOVES penises! As a nobody on TV.com who still complained about the stupidity there, russ showed up at FI and announced that he was becoming the new king. After he realised nobody was listening he settled down into a posting regime consisting mostly of the word LOL and began spawning memes. Unfortunately most of the memes weren't actually his own work, and his own memes are pretty garyface'd by everyone. But everybody humours him. Like...he'll come on and say "Hai guyz am I great or what? AM I?" and everybody smiles and says "heh yeah". Awkwardness follows. Russ has recently become disillusioned with the show, which caused MOS to short-circuit. The Californian has not been the same since. Roos' latest pursuit has been raping this wiki into submission with plotlines from his fan-fiction, which is currently read by no 1. Reading this article has made Russ EMO. NO FURTHER CITATIONS NEEDED. Ackermaniv (aka acker whacker) Son of the jazz-funk infused indie artist ackermaniii, ackermaniv was once a prominent member of the TV.com LOST forums. However general angst caused him to pick a fight with anybody smaller than he was (which is pretty much everyone, LOL) and the mods smacked him into the backwaters of the internet with their ban-maces. Forced into exile, Ack started over-eating and extended his angst to a blog about how everybody hated him. He eventually crawled out of the internet and wound his way on to furtherinstructions where he pretty much split the site in half, caused a mass exodus, ended a mass exodus and became something of an icon. He was even the first member to have a white name which fits in well with his ideas of racial purity. He likes lower-case letters, and as such is more commonly known as ackermaniv. This annoys MoonOfSkiing118 which often causes the two to have dramatic lovers' tiffs, of which MOS loses everytime on account of him being a pussy. Left FI FOREVER like 5 times. Ack's Body Mass Index is reportedly "rofl". Likes: swoonlust, BOADIE BROADUS' tooth squirts, gossiping with Lostifyed and sometimes Lost. He also likes Mikes. wutafag. Dislikes: The human race, the memberbase, TV.com, Catch_22, every forum in existence, stupid people (see the human race), smart people, ShokoLove. * WUOTE: i took the most painful shit in the world yesterday. i felt like i got bumfukked Swoonlust Pretty much the only member of the site to be globally sucked up to. sunlust joined after the decline of TV.com even though he was never a part of the real community there. Regardless, he established his position on the FI throne and through intricate posts he became globally loved. The truth is that his posts are full of lots of big words, and nobody understands what he's saying ever. But they assume that with that many big words his posts must all be awesome and so he must in turn be awesome. It saves them the trouble of looking them up and looking like morons. He actually spends ten minutes per second reading a thesaurus in a bid to keep up the pretense. Spelling 'pretence' correctly is also pretentious. Sunlust is probably a bot. This is the most logical reason for the wordy posts and the fact that he never appears to sleep. Made in China© Leah Tired of being moderator at tv.com, Leah decided to join FI. Considered one of the friendliest members, Leah is also one of the bigger, more obsessive LOST fans on Further Instructions. Dropped out of high school to stalk B list celebrities and study TAXIDERMY. Writer of fan-fic 'LOST Restriction' She's into fat guys. Watch out ack. Pretends to be King Kong. (See picture.) Opened up a chain of stores called "Leahcakes" in the early 80's, but it was closed down due to the amount of fingers found in the frosting. * WUOTE: "Hey, I'd like to find my finger in her frosting! Woo yah!" - ackermaniv being subtle. Malion The man of 1000 identical faces. Malion (a.k.a. Ilam, Alvin, Mac, Mal, Ion, Moth, Deku, tire-iron brandishing sunlust, and Ponce De Leon) was one of the later members to join FI. He is known for promoting silence and has been known to clear entire conversations with a single post. He generally has no life and aspires to making himself the ultimate meme, and tries to get his words into the mainstream as much as possible. Using second rate fanfiction and his semi-bi-quarter-weekly podcast extravaganza, called "The Broceanic Jipped" He is simultaneously the poor man's russ, swoonlust, Von Paulus, and Krkv6. richlost a.k.a. 'The Aging Cowboy' Some kind of cowboy/mail-man, and possibly a JOAK Wise and old, he won't say anything, if there's nothing worth saying. Anti-Cbox, lol wut? Good at making banners. CRTMN0463 Born Alec Bollig, and self-proclaimed hairiest man alive, after being abandoned by TWO fathers, CRTMN now lives with a pack of gorrilas, the youngest of which has sexual fetishes for toilet plungers. CRTMN, himself, possesses an unhealthy fetish for South Park. After being a n00b at TV.com, CRTMN quickly rose through the ranks to gain MOD status at FI (Long story short, CRTMN left FI to join BLACK COCK, and to lure him back to FI, Paul promoted him, and was reciprocated with a rusty trombone). A seemingly wonderful accomplishment, his new position has cursed him with a SKATE-like plunge into EMO-ness and he no longer carez about LYF. THANKFULLY, he has maintained his 'dignity' and refuses to drink or talk to girls. As of late, DETECTIVE CRTMN spooges at the thought of his WII. His uncle ernie calls him the Tickle Monster. Frosted Bollig, lol pacojonezl40 Mexican lottery winner who joined FI through our Affirmative Action transfer programme. Basically we're fine with ethnic minorities, as long as they're rich. (This is why ShokoLove had to go.) Apparently he also has some Smerf fetish. Drinks beer. Good for him! tribalchic One of the few relatively normal posters, liked by everyone. Occasionally snaps. Recently discovered to be a man. JamesX32 Nice Guy, probably resulting from his perpetually hotbox't mountaintop single-wide. Lives in Kentucky, "the Smurf't Ganja State". Once played the washboard in a Led Zeppelin/Pink Floyd clusterfuck cover band called "Immigrant Song: The Wall". Was later booted to de curb by his bandmates for being a "Communist". JoeLostDharma Founder of the horseshit successful forum HAM. Irish. Also sings in the Celtic punk band 'The Nellys'. Simple Propaganda Draws penii in iSketch. Has irregular bowel movements. Athevolunteer The once popular and regular at the forum, has now left us for a forum made up of Tv.com-ers. Likes grammer and Big Brother. Comes by and posts every so often. He also goes to BAND CAMP. lol DoctorAwesome The 'other Doctor' hails from Reykjavik, Hofueborgarsvaei, Iceland. lol try saying dat 10 times fast This section needs MOAR WURDS. Plz add MOAR WURDS teh n00bs ManOfSceince118 Also known as MOS or 'that gay kid from California', ManOfSceince118 is quite possibly the biggest RETARD in the history of the world. He is known for raping the defenseless (Not just an hour ago he BUTTSECKS69'd this entire wiki into oblivion). He has no known friends (they've all been CANYON'd), and spends all day watching episodes of lost, lying naked on the floor as he does so. He is the source of the largest amount of FAIL deposits, and unless unleashed in little spurts every 118 minutes, goes KABLAMO and freaks out more than HITLER. Everyone enjoys making fun of him, because frankly, it is just so easy... hence misspelling 'Science' and not capitalizing 'LOST'. We all hope he dies. WUOTE: Ack, you're whack. And you gon git smack(d) DICKS EVERYWHERE ALTERNATE PERSONALITY/DOWN SYNDROME MOS118, being extremely unhappy with his life, often creates alternate personalities then logs onto FI as if he were different people. Examples include: * Samuel Woodruff Backlund: obviously a made-up name, apparently an azn 'ex-friend' of MOS; CANYON'd * Teddy Wells: Ivan from TV's Lost, a.k.a. Teddy313 and so obviously MOS, obviously. * MoonOfSkiing108: MOS, but more anally-retentive, had potential but sort of pointless like Nicki and Powlo * Dylan: MOS pretended to be a 'friend' of himself to 'scope out' FI and make sure people would be okay with his return * Spelling & Grammer (LOL): fail Important equations relating to MOS * MOS = admin - any authority whatsoever * Hitler > MOS * MOS = LIS^FAIL * MOS's Fish Biscuits = i'' More recently, MOS fail has escalated to a new level. Not only is he the only member with a H8 forum dedicated to him, but his large amount of fails has gotten high enough to become poll'd. bsrj22 '''aka The Black Knight (that nobody likes) aka African American Knight' Zuko412 FI's token black guy, e.g. he plays basketball, is 6 foot tall and his name is Michael. He got fired from his job at his Dad's fried chicken restaurant for masturbating into the chicken buckets too much. Or not enough. The story is unclear but involved droogz. He once had a girlfriend but then... He likes black whores Zuko decided he didn't want to wait around for Nicole to be 'ready' for his snake on her plane and so made up stories about sleeping with other wimminz. He decided he likes black whores best because they are "more loose." However every silver lining has a cloud and Zuko once complained in the c-box that despite their positive attributes, black whores "have no souls." Well of course they don't Zuko. They're black. Then Nicole's Dad got killed in a drive-by and Zuko decided to ease the mood by making a JOAK about drive-bys. This prompted her to ironically dump his bum on da curb and leave forever. Negatopia Zuko412 was also the mastermind behind the groundbreaking fanfic series Negatopia, a word created ingeniously by Zuko to describe a 'negative utopia', some kind of DYSTOPIC future in which the series was set. HOWEVER, It is a little-known fact that MOS actually made the name 'Negatopia'. And nobody had any complaints until Russ noticed this. _________________________________ This just in: Zuko is now a gigantic prick. Although he doesn't have one. lol kittengoespoop A regularly defecating kitten who has an affinity for word filters. He sometimes can be heard to claim that his name is actually kittengoesPOP, but this is not true for two reasons: 1. It is not true 2. Kittens don't go pop. Unless you put them in a microwave. But then you'd be a sick fuck. Have you considered joining FI? Although originally classified as 'Elite', he is actually a n00b. I would write more about KGP, but I abstain, courteously. mikeyb9m3bek Briddish, lol sucks for him. Good with art. Possible eugenicist. Writer of fan-fic 'Ripoff-Russ-Glactica.' Once c-box harassed by a kid from his school, who ended up just being flowsta. Is known to be disturbingly passionate about Arthropod/Lizard crossbreeding and various other CRIMES AGAINST NATURE. Discovered both ISketch and Taboo's identity ff_zero Good guy. Boosts post count by spamming with 's. Took a long hiatus but returned this year and became elite'd davidtoms007 Religious nutjob; Pretends to be James Bond in his free time. As a result, he is very secretive, and nothing further is known about him. Kevin Cavanagh Kevin Cavanagh obviously has nothing to hide, because with his name out there in the open, all a haxx0r needs now is his e-mail address to steal his identity. Collaborated with Krkv6, who was most definitely very interested in the project, on a two part episode of Lost fan-fiction. Did a wonderful job of organizing Room 23 Go Go Go!! lol kez To the batmobile let's go atomic batteries to power turbins to speed roger ready to move out NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH Batman Batman Batman Batman slick14805 CALL HIM ISMAEL! Roots for the Cubs, wutanub. Even though his team hasn't won a championship in over 100 years!! He also is a member for HAM and plays Jack in the rpg (Rigged anyone??) HUGE Jack fan, wut a loser. WUOTES: "Hey just saw FIpedia where the hell am I?" "I know im new, but I think I should at least be mentioned at least in a two word sentence" "I got my picture but nooo I am not worthy to be on FIpedia...I got it all framd and everything" "come on u can do better for my FIpedia profile." As you can see, he enjoys bitching about not being included in the wiki, even after being included. Hell, half the stuff in this section was added by Ismael himself. Gingers Gingers are members with redhair, pale skin and freckles and are the lowest on the FI: Totem Pole. Unfortunately, FI has recently become invaded by Gingers. There is no known cure for this cancer but the forum survives by ostracising the offending members and giving them their own Ginger sanctuary. This is in fact a junkyard, but they don't know any better. Meanwhile FI lives on by completely ignoring all passing Gingers lest they become organised and threaten the very internets we stand on. CurtisLost23 FI's Ginger and Ladeez man. Despite being a n00b, to everyone's amazement Curtis placed 4th in the FI: Elimination Game, although this shouldn't come as a surprise as it was his game and was clearly RIG'd. In his spare time, Curtis enjoys copying pages from Lostpedia and looking at hieroglyphics. Recently came out of the closet. He is a GINGER and is the owner of an ESCORT SERVICE: AVAILABLE WIMMINZ Image:Curtis1.jpg Image:Curtis2.jpg Image:Curtis3.jpg Image:Curtis5.jpg Image:Curtis6.jpg Image:Curtis7.jpg Image:Curtis8.jpg He has a lot of sisters, lol LIS Stuck in the wastelands of Buffalo with fucktard ack, LIS came to FI later than the REAL members. Although he thinks he's ONE OF US, and tries to fit in by liking TEH SABERS (see: FAIL), due to his late arrival, he will never fully fit in. Hated by MOS, WUOTE: "LIS is just a douchebag." Often writes novels for posts. These novels are almost fully comprised of a strange language known as txt or nub spk. Enjoys murdering memes in his spare time. R.I.P. Mundai. Blair Malion's girlfriend, aka yet another stupid Malion account used to make it seem like he has IRL popularity and LUV interests. Founder of popular experimental rock band Domi Mondo Likes making introduction threads. WOULD-BE mods Members of this highly selective group are TOO good to be mods. If it wasn't for being feared by the people in charge, these suppressed genius' would surly be in charge. simplton First official WOULD BE mod. Spelling the name wrong is all part of the ruse. He tried to tone down his smrts to fit in with FI (see: picture), but there is only so much you can hide. Clearly, he was too smart for his own good, as he got found out. Unfortunatly for FI, Simplton frequents the site much more often now. Recently he started making blogs for the FI community, but only the first of the three were any good. Russ posts tend to excite young simplton! In his spare time he hits his bitch of a sister. He also likes taking provocative photos of her. lol he's from the south if you didn't pick that up Henry42 aka flowsta This WOULD BE mod is not worth the effort of writing a blurb. Cause of death. Citizen Trailblazing his way into FI lore, Citizen once claimed he'd disembowel his own father if it meant getting one last pelvic thrust upon a 50 X 50 animated GIF of Emilie De Ravin's wriggling feet. Other interests include: impromptu podiatry, bunion removal & self-storage, armless people, men who can fill up every inch of a novelty clown shoe, and genuine Camel Toe (NOT EUPHEMISM). SHOULD-BE mods buttsex69 It goes without saying ... Related to: CRTMNBUTTSECKS RussianLove The forum conundrum ... HOO is he? Is he FGG? Is he gbvfan? Is he russ_who_ross (no, but it was lulz to say that he was)? Is he a she who chopped off his penis or turned it inside out (lol?) and got implants? Here's a KLUGH: he might not be any of these people, but he undoubtedly SHOULD be a mod. R.I.P. These members are no longer with us. They have become JOAKS. gbvfan God's second son. *WUOTE: Here is what has been really under my skin for the past few days: ''THIS COMMUNITY has nothing to do with other LOST fan sites, including TV.COM, which we all found out about this great website through. I'm sick and tired of some members arguing over frivolous things, especially when it comes to LOST, or other LOST web pages. Isn't that what we came here for? This site has become something that it was never intended to be. We all are here (members old and new, creators of this site) to discuss the television show we all LOVE. ''What has happened? Why are there (even if it is in some sort of joking reference) tension between the members. ''TV.COM is SHIT. I've never visited any other sites. I come here to discuss LOST, the show we all LOVE. I am so tired of any member referencing other web sites! That is bullshit. This web page is devoted to THIS COMMUNITY of LOST lovers. ''Yes, it is a long time until the 4th season begins. But what started out as 'possibly' interesting topics (other than stupid fucking games) I will never believe Paul or Dutchiee wanted this to be. ''NOW - with that being said, the members of this web site have become great people in my eyes, whether or not I disagree with their opinions. BUT THAT IS WHAT MAKES THIS SITE different than any other LOST site! C'mon people. Stop fucking around. ''I have been in touch with MOS (who, in my opinion, knows, or loves, everything about LOST). I am hoping the lot of us can put differences aside (personal differences, not opinion differences) behind us. ''We NEED to make this web site, and EVERY members opinions, matter. This (correct me if I'm wrong) is what this site was created for! ''In summary, think about what LOST means to each and every one of you. THEN, think of what would happen if members that you have grown to love and respect backed out on it. Does any member want that?! I sure don't. I've said my piece. If anyone wants to bring up something with me, please do. YOU owe it to this wonderful group of fans. ''And, if any member is thinking 'Wait a minute, what about you, Ben?' Jay (sunlust) and I are hardly EVER on the same page when it comes to favorite characters or favorite episodes. BUT - do I dislike, or in anyway, not respect his opinions? ''FUCK NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I respect his opinions and insight incredibly. lol, retard SkateGame Firewalls and droogz Believed to be the 1st EMO ever. In the intervening time of WIKI DISAPPEARANCE HYSTERIA, SkateGame has returned and everyone likes him now. Even though he wasn't voted to be an elite, he somehow is one. Good job, Paul. Also since his return he is obsessive with reviews and being like MOS. He still enjoys being a badass though glostlover Enjoys Dildos. Teddy313 Teddy aka IVAN FamilyGuyGary FamilyGuyGary, otherwise known as FGG, is yet another classic example of a Briddish Twat. Neurotic over his passions--Family Guy, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and, most recently, Heroes -- FGG flips out over the most miniscule criticism, and in his final performance, deleted the Heroes Board. He returned to the site with a vengeance as Russianlove, but after being discovered by Sherlock Homes, staged a real comeback. His hobbies include eating popcorn and spamming forums. Test_Account Test_Account was an intergalactic pedophile and notable forum muppet who, in the depths of his cold polyester vas deferens, just wanted to find a place to belong. After hearing from Keldorn Firecam and AMERICA that poll rigging wasn't a means to this end, he decided it wise to challenge superior FI members to unwinnable cbox donnybrooks and arbitrary FEETS OF SKILL. One fateful day after tossing a particularly painful barb of 'rooss' at the MAN OF COOKEEZ, Test_Account abruptly found himself kabob'd lengthwise by 2 wit-laden rapiers. Before his breathing grew forever hushed, he saw through the blinding glint of tandem blades that they were wielded by the aforementioned Rooss and that illegal hentai fluffer known as BUNCRUST. Suddenly DocYoda managed to somehow heyguyswutsgoingon himself out from cowering in a nearby foxhole and wuoted a timelessly unmemorable rooss SIG. Fleeting lulz were shared. * THE WUOTE IN WUESTION: DoctorYoda: I'm not sure I understand you guys ... a new user called Test_Account started posting ... and you both ... killed him? lol dat's right dock. Test_Account has since risen from the ashes. Ackermaniv now frequently uses the account to RIG polls in his favour. angrykoopa You took his ONLY food. Likes: Intel, FamilyGuyGary. Known for making jokes about azns but then when someone else makes one he gets all offended and never signs onto FI again, lol. DoctorYoda: It's Koopa. Do you expect anything to make sense? Zuko412: not really. LOSTismylife Previously voted FI's friendliest member and once regularly expressed her unadulterated LUV for everyone on on the forums (save for ack, whose SUBTLE advances were often met with a definitive ). This pristine conception was abruptly shattered when her internets broke for a week and in the collateral blast everyone on FI became tainted by consummate FAIL and exclusively unworthy of LUV. Has been recently spotted avoiding FI by carefully circumnavigating the detour path through the HAM "fallout shelter". Recently came back to FI. Sawyer_Gota_Gun UNDER CONSTRUCTION. See: RETARD =History= Shit happened. Events In FI's first year, a lot of epic shit's gone down. HERE'S A RECAP. MOS' Departure The long and the short of it is, everyone was making fun of MOS for having a gay fettish for Matthew Fox. MOS couldn't handle the heat, and left. During his absence, he cried like a bitch to GBVfan. Some amount of time later, MOS came to the site disguised as DYLAN (made up friend), to see if he was still welcome. He blamed his absence on his Mom's shinglz. LOL. In typical fashion, Paul offered MOS admin-status, baring that he returned. As of today, the forum is cluttered with MOS-fail. THNX PAUL. lol @ his mom having shinglz. talk about major fail. FI Episode Guides ROFL The WAR UNDER CONSTRUCTION RPG The straw that broke the camel's back, the RPG officially sent Dutchiee to the Loony Bin. It all began when St. Douchebag had the bright idea to make a ... UNDER CONSTRUCTION Creation of Black Rock Black Cock happened when ShokoLove joined the forum one sunny winter afternoon. Unfortunately a local retard and KKK member was around, and made some racial slur in a redneck drawl. ShokoLove responded by: not getting offended. But then some smug asshole took offence so ShokoLove whipped out his black snake and duelled with ack's burning cross throughout the night. Eventually, his black cock had taken a burning, and suffered many splinters, but all good Christian children must eventually perish and ack was smited just like it was SNAKES ON A PLANE. Black Rock, on the other hand, was created shortly after the culmination of the WAR. MrDutchiee became weary of all the unhappy vibes of FI, so he founded a place of popcorn, Dr. Pepper, gumdrops, and lollipops. It was a magical land free from the vile stench of Ackermaniv, DoctorYoda, Paulus, Russ, Zuko, and others. That was until Paulus gatecrashed and CANDYLAND WAS TAINTED (with taint) FROM THAT DAY FORWARD. Soon after, EVERYBODY from Taboo to Ack and their mothers were spying on BR and they didn't even know it, lol. They just went on posting obliviously with much Dr. Pepper and popcorn consumption to be had, until they finally figured out that Black Rock was a brainless pile of shit and they came crawling back to FI. BBPE FUCKING RIG Hall of Fame Creation of the Wiki The FI wiki is a testament to its own FAIL. It was created by Zuko412 on March 28, 2008 and in basically 24 hours it had more content than any other Invisionfree wiki. Clearly, the members have too much time on their hands. Except Dutchiee. Zeta conversion looooool nvmnd Lostifyed and World War I Zuko, in an attempt to gain some new users from Tv.com (lol like anyone would want to follow him any where. RIGHT, NICOLE?), went there. To his surprise, a n00b named Lostifyed had made multiple threads including 'Christian Shepard is not dead!' a tiny teory which he linked to FI. In this thread, Lostifyed had shown much bigotry and knowledge of the bible, which he lorded over everybody else. Paul and co. went to the thread to stop him, only to make an enemy. Paul and co. eventually found themselves constantly hounded by this man. TO BE CONTINUED Ack's Departure: Part 1 & 2 =Memes= In FI's history, many memes (or inside jokes) have been created. All memes must first be approved by the Meme Keeper and later on, killed by LIS. Dead Memes Because memes are so LULZY, every member upon discovering one does their best to repeat it over and over again. This is a brilliant plan as surely if you keep saying the same joke repeatedly it naturally gets better. However joak physics intervene and as a result, memes die. There are three known causes of death for a meme: 1.) Repeat usage: People use it so many times that it actually becomes the anti-funnee. At this stage using the meme is on a par to Hiroshima. 2.) LIS: It is a known fact that LIS has rare genetic makeup that means any meme he comes in contact with withers and dies on the spot. Since this discovery memes have gone into hiding lest they be discovered by the infamous joak-killer. 3.) MOS: See above. Except that in his case replace memes with everything ever. geraldpringle Once upon a time, a normal user with a funny name joined FI. Swoonlust capitalised on this name by making a joak and so everybody from 10,000 miles around all started laughing and bowing fearfully. * WUOTE: "MrDutchiee? more like geraldpringle" - buncrust Some people were unsatisfied with the myth or legend and so a search and recovery operation spanned the internets in desperation to find the man behind the fail. As a result they eventually discovered he was just some guy no1 carez about. Though the meme lived on until it was kill'd. It occasionally resurfaces but like most kill'd memes can never be brought back from the grave. geraldpringle has shown signs of angst. It is thus believed he may be emo. Mundai Mundai was given as the date MOS would actually do shit. MOS never does shit and so it was reasoned Mundai was in fact the FI apocalypse..the day where everything ever would actually take place. However Mundai is the quintessential example of a dead meme. A mere week after it's hilarious concoction, LIS set about vanquishing it with his dual blades of overkill and ~lame~. As a result Mundai was banished to the wastelands of the internet where it forever haunts the planes of the eternally retarded. Mal memes Mal memes are a rare breed. They all share one unique characteristic, and that's that they die upon birth. However, due to Mal's necrophiliac tendencies, he often times re-animates these corpses of memes for his own sick pleasure. No one laughs. Example of a typical conversation with Mal: DoctorYoda: lol russ_who_ross: lol Mal: Yellow DoctorYoda: ... hai. Mal: Holy Magikarp! russ_who_ross: wut? Mal: It's Ion! Ion's here! Nooooo! Ion: Shut up dude. Just go away Mal. russ_who_ross: Mal: Never! DoctorYoda: sunIust: looool.. i'll take care of this.. Linder: Hey Sun. sunIust: looool.. hai Linda.. *beats Ion down with a TIRE IRON* Linder: DAMMIT MAL. Ion: Nooo! You've defeated me! Mal: ... in lie land. russ_who_ross: wow. this conversation just went to shit. Mal: Fare enough, you can ride the bus. DoctorYoda: sigh. Mal: Just a little moar, Ivysaur! russ_who_ross: i'm leaving. bye. DoctorYoda: yeah... me too... Mal: The silence means it's working. Undead Memes Some memes can never die. They are just too funny. In their case being used loads may even make them funnier. Lol wut? This is actually a 4chan meme, but Paulus snuck it in pretending it was his own work because he lacks a funee-bone. Eventually the truth came out, but the pear remained funny and so still gets usage today. It is a fact that 90% of the board's posts are "lol wut". Hey guys whats going on Hey guys whats going on http://i117.photobucket.com/albums/o76/3231983/delete.jpg Hey guys whats going on http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z281/i4-/deletecopy.png Hey guys whats going on http://i203.photobucket.com/albums/aa227/CRTMN0463/Santa.jpg Hey guys whats going on PROTIP: There are a million variations of this phrase all of which are not funny. Examples include "wuts going on". The only correct way to say this is "Hey guys whats going on" with no punctuation or grammar. SRSNESS and JOAKS On FI, everyone is always and yet never srs. A typical discourse is as follows: Dock: CRTMN, that's the stupidest idea ever, srsly. CRTMN: That hurts, dock. Why would you say such a mean thing? You're such a dick. Dock: I was only JOAKING. LOL @ you for taking it so SRS. CRTMN: O yeh well I was JOAKING TOO, LOL @ YOU for taking my srsness so srsly. Dock: LOL, I knew you were joaking, omg you thought I was being srs when I said you were taking things too srsly. CRTMN: rofl ... dock, I've been joaking the whole time. Being srs on the internets is about the biggest FI faux pas EVAR. Because of this, nobody ever knows when anyone is srs or telling a joak. The issue is confused further by the fact that many people use faux-srsness as part of their joaks, such as the epic ack-russ c-box cop ban warz when CRTMN thought they were being srs (lol) when they were actually PM'ing each other laughing about it the entire time. Even more confusingly, it is becoming even more the norm to pretend to be joaking when actually taking something srs, to avoid the stigma of TAKING THINGS SRSLY. For evidence look to recent MOS posts when his ideas are criticised. * WUOTE: "Trying to laugh things off is the new taking things srsly" - buttsex69. What does the future hold for joaks? One prediction is that people will soon begin pretending to be srs as part of a joak that is made to cover up their actual srsness. Though it could be that their actual srsness is just part of yet another hilarious joak. etc. However, there are a However, there are a couple of things that FI actually DOES take SRSLY. And that's genuine srsly, not faux-srsly for lulz. They are: * Pronography. Pronography is not allowed on FI because it could get us all Beffrey Ban't. See also: DAMONa (section coming soon). * Spoilers, and sometimes, foilers. Since America is not, as is commonly believed, the EPICENTER (< edited for the incorrect BRIT spelling of "epicentre", BRIT spelling is only used on that small island out in the middle of nowhere, so, it has been corrected to American spelling) of the universe, some people only get the show afterwards. Hence the current episode discussion forum. And also even some Americans (and Mexicans) like to watch the show unspoil'd. Some retards have, in the past, spoil't others and have consequently been bant. * Terrorism. THO, 1 MAN'S TERRIST IS ANOTER MANS FREEDUM FITER!!!!!!!!1 Some retards have, in the past, not taken terrorism srsly enough and have consequently been bant. * Being a primordial turd that does not belong on FI. We don't exactly have high standards but some retards have, in the past, been primordial turds that do not belong on FI and have consequently been bant. * None of the above things. Conclusion Don't take it so srsly. I was only joaking. Gary Talk to the face, cause the ... face ain't listening(?) There are many different types of Gary. They are describes as follows. Dancing Gary Huge Gary Did you mean: [http://forums.wikia.com/wiki/Further_Instructions#MrDutchiee Huge Gay '] Huge Gary is currently the hugest Gary that is recognised by FI. In the past there have been huger Garies, but these got so big that they crashed browsers and fail'd to load properly. Huge Gary serves many purposes such as: * If you say something stupid in the c-box, post a Huge Gary so no one sees it * Spamming the c-box * (Related to above suggestion) Provoking IslandQueen into a fight * Expression of "WTF" at something Zuko or MOS just said (though not as extreme as the Gary column) * Lulz Huge Winky Huge Gary + sarcasm Tiny Gary Actually larger than regular size Gary, lol, his name is a reference to his size in relation to Huge Gary. Many consider Tiny Gary to be a mild form of blasphemy. Sunburned Very Tiny Gary Gary column Only EVAR to be used in EXCEPTIONAL circumstances of wtf. Like the type of situations where you would ACTUALLY TYPE OUT "WHAT THE FUCK" (in capitals) rather than simply typing "wtf". The Gary column was invented when Zuko asked on the c-box if a baby appearing out of nowhere would be "realistic or not" (lol?) Fails The Gary row This is an exceptional fail and should never be used by anyone for any reason. In fact the Gary row may be remedied by a well-placed Gary column, resulting in the Gary grid (see below). Too many Garies + This is considered spam as well as an epic fail. Any more than four garies means you're a fucking idiot and a racist. Interrupted Gary column ackermaniv: hey guys wuts goin on This would be considered a fail, though you would not be held personally responsible. Or maybe you would. Please be considerate of other people Gary column'ing and do not barge into the c-box without first checking. Gary column'ing without a good reason NEVAR EVAR ''EVAR GARY COLUMN UNLESS IT IS AN EXCEPTIONAL "WTF" MOMENT. The Gary grid Pointless. Just use a Huge Gary. The Gary totem pole Discovered by fuck_who_toss and MoonofSkiing. Although not in itself a fail per se, it is extremely hard to synchronise on the spot (or at all) and so is 93% likely to result in a fail (for instance, an eight-gary high gary totem pole as you both tried to do Gary columns). =Ex.: = russ_who_ross: ManOfScience118: russ_who_ross: ManOfScience118: Gary tennis Evolving out of the Gary totem pole, Gary tennis is played by rapidly posting Garies back and forth on the c-box until someone fucks up. This is harder than it sounds. Copy and pasting Garies is considered RIG and you will be ban't. Our current top rally is five Garies before fail. '''russ_who_ross: ManOfScience118: russ_who_ross: ManOfScience118: russ_who_ross: :\ ManOfScience118: Hahaha russ_who_ross: FUCK =Wuotes= Below is a list of WUOTES said by various FI members. russ_who_ross "i secksed a men once." "as all real men know, there is nothing more manly than leaving children to burn." sunlust "Mr. Dutchiee? more like geraldpringle" "sounds like some pr0n i dl'ed.." Acker Whacker "isn't krkv like 27 or something... didn't he say that over at drunkwithpower.com? or am i just tripping shit right now?" DoctorYoda "LOL who cares it's Minnesota." "MOS ruins trends almost as quickly as LIS @ the chimpanzee in the toilet." Paulus2 "LOL @ the concept of ack being a mod...that's like putting Hitler in charge of human resources." "Primordial turds do not belong on FI" "I love how a thread about cars immediately turned into a discussion of Zuko's penis." "Oh boo-fucking-hoo. Emo kid got his PRECIOUS POST COUNT erased." Manofscience118 "LIS is just a douchebag." "The contests will start up on Mundai." CRTMN0463 "Well.. on the inner cheeks.. yea.. not literally coming from my asshole" "Srsly, no one else has hair there?" "I wish I could stick it in my Wii.." Zuko412 "lol there homophobes." "Linda, I'd sex you into a coma." "So your gay nerd friends will now be mucking up the epic tale of FI?" "Im depressed because my sim caught his wife cheating...." Curtislost23 "My girlfriend called me a lazy dumbass, is that a bad sign?" Lostinsimpsons "Fucking banana peel...you DON'T FIND IT FUNNY EVEN WHEN IT'S NOT ME!" MOS "LALALALALALALALALALALASPECTRATIOLALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA" OTHER WOUTES "I hate Intel" - Angrykoopa "Opens... trenchcoat? - Bylvia McCormick "fu" - Angrykoopa "Are you all going bonkers?" - lucydiana "I recommend he see a physiologist. (and I’m not talking about paul btw)." - Taboo ADD MORE QUOTES PLZ